Love Hina: Aozuki-hen
by Matador Matty
Summary: On the surface, it's a familiar tale. Keitaro Urashima's a college reject, summoned to his family's ancestral inn... But this time, our hero has a weird secret that he has to hide from the tenants of Hinata House at any cost. Will he succeed? Or will the Hinata gals crack the case? Be careful who you trust, Keitaro... (Platonic relationships only. No romance, but plenty of action!)
1. The Ronin and the Mysterious Inn

**_Author's Notes_**

 ** _I'm not normally a fan of romance manga, much less the "harem" genre, but I have an... interesting love/hate relationship with Love Hina. But trying to explain all THAT would take too long. Instead, I'll cut t' the chase 'n present you with this little AU-y thing as a little for-fun story. What's the AU? Meh, stick around and you'll find out- eventually._**

 ** _Disclaimer: Love Hina belongs to Ken Akamatsu, not me. All I'm doin' is playin' with it a bit._**

 ** _Please enjoy our feature presentation.  
_**

* * *

 _Love Hina: Aozuki-hen_

 _Act 1: An Unwelcome Visitor  
_

 _Part 1: The Ronin and the Mysterious Inn_

 _ **-Hinata House [Front], Early Afternoon-**_

It was a bright and beautiful day in the seaside town of Hinata, and one Keitaro Urashima, nineteen years old, staggered his way up the seemingly never-ending stone steps, cursing his nonathletic nature to the high heavens as he stumbled up the hill they were built into.

"Stairs," he huffed once he reached the top, "why is it always STAIRS?" The bespectacled young man sighed and slumped over, hands on his knees as he tried to catch his breath, and mentally vowed, not for the first time that day, that stairs were officially his worst enemy.

His reason for being here was unclear. Kicked out by his parents, who ran a bakery, Keitaro had been summoned to the ancestral inn of the Urashima family by Hina, his paternal grandmother and Hinata House's current proprietor. He'd been sent a letter, but all that the letter contained was a message to come to the inn. No circumstances behind the impromptu calling were mentioned.

"What could Granny Hina have wanted with me?" the youth mused to himself as he looked over the pale blue front of the majestic, three-story inn. Formerly a popular attraction for its majestic hillside view, renowned hot springs, and rumors of some kind of supernatural ability to hook up any couple, Hinata House had been in a state of decline for a long time. Why Granny Hina had called Keitaro to _this_ sad old hotel, of all places, was a mystery. He had better things to do- like get into Toudai, the most prestigious university in Japan! Sadly, Keitaro's progress on that particular front had been shaky at best for the past three years, owing to severe trouble with the nightmarishly tough entrance exams, as well as...

Keitaro shook his head. Best not to be thinking of THAT right now, he'd just end up getting ticked off. Carrying the shame of a three-year streak as a _ronin_ , a reject who hadn't passed his entrance exams, was bad enough without factoring THAT into the equation. Said _ronin_ straightened himself and stepped up to the large doors of the Hinata, before knocking.

To his surprise, the door just slid open, revealing the foyer. "...Huh." Keitaro blinked and adjusted his collar, before walking in and removing his shoes.

The inn was eerily silent. Was there nobody around?

"Hello? Granny Hina?" Keitaro asked, only to cringe as he heard his voice ring out in the quiet. He'd been in far too many bad situations where talking too loud had caused trouble for him, so he immediately decided to keep his yap shut for the time being.

Quickly, he reviewed his mental map of the place, which was rusty from having been away for ages. If his memory was correct, the tenants' rooms were on both upper stories to the left and right of the stairs, so upstairs it was. Maybe if someone was in their room, he'd be able to ask them the whereabouts of Granny Hina. As quietly as he could, so as not to freak out anyone who might be listening, Keitaro crept up the stairs to the second floor, and headed right, to Rooms 202 and 201.

* * *

 _ **-Hinata House [Second Floor], Early Afternoon-**_

Room 202 was unoccupied, judging by its current state of almost Spartan cleanliness- the only item of any note was, for some reason, an empty bottle of Gekkeikan-brand sake lying on the floor. Keitaro didn't know what to think about that, so he just left it be. Closing the door, he padded over to Room 201, and knocked on the door.

Keitaro's face lit up when he heard a surprised yelp come from inside, followed by the pattering of feet and the opening of the door- but he did a double take when he saw who was doing the opening.

- _A middle schooler?_ \- he thought as he saw the wide-eyed little girl in front of him. She couldn't have been older than twelve or maybe thirteen. She had dark blue, almost navy hair in a bob cut, steel-blue eyes, and was wearing a yellow, short-sleeved hoodie with a green skirt and sneakers.

"U-Uhm..." the girl stammered, brushing a stray lock of deep blue hair out of her eyes. "M-May- may I help you?"

Keitaro smiled a little, hoping to ease the girl's evident shyness. "Good afternoon," he said politely. "I'm looking for Hina Urashima. Is she around?"

"G-Granny Hina?" The little girl blinked, surprised. "She's been gone for a while, on a tour of the world's hot springs."

That information was enough to knock Keitaro for a loop. "Say _what_?!" he shouted, causing the girl to draw back in fright with a little squeak of shock. "She's _GONE_?"

"Y-Yes..." The girl cringed, wringing her hands. "I-I'm very sorry, sir..."

"Oh my God, this is _unbelievable_..." Keitaro held his head in his hands, severely annoyed. The first time in years he'd come back to Hinata House, following instructions without any background information as to why he was being called there, and the person who had sent for him was probably not even in Japan! Out of the corner of his eye, he caught sight of his conversation partner's distress, and winced. "A-ah, it's okay, don't worry!" he tried to reassure. "I'm not mad at you!"

Unfortunately for Keitaro, this young lass was only one of five current tenants at Hinata House, and as fate would have it, one of them was alerted by Keitaro's shouting.

"Shinobu-chan!" came a slightly older-sounding voice from above, as someone rushed down the stairs and towards Keitaro. "Are you alrigh-"

In that moment, the world seemed to stop, as Keitaro and the girl turned to see the teenager who had been alarmed by Keitaro's noise. She looked like she had just stepped straight out of a martial arts school- a girl of roughly fifteen with dark hair in the traditional "hime" cut- short in the front, shoulder length fringe on the sides, long in the back. Her choice of dress was a white haori over a blood-red hakama, and most alarmingly, she was carrying a _SWORD_. A real life, honest to God, _razor sharp_ metal katana. Her dark, almond-shaped eyes widened as she saw Keitaro-

-And in an instant, he was at swordpoint.

"What are you doing accosting Shinobu, you lecherous swine!?" the swordswoman snarled, holding the tip of her katana to Keitaro's neck, close enough to poke him but not enough to actually cut.

"A-Accosting-!?" sputtered Keitaro, backing away as fast as he could until he ended up impacting the wall.

"Mo-Motoko-senpai, wha-!?" the little girl (Shinobu?) squeaked, also drawing back into her room.

The swordswoman (Motoko?) glared viciously as she advanced upon the _ronin_ , and if looks could kill, she wouldn't even need her blade to gut Keitaro like a trout. " _Save your breath,_ scum," she said contemptuously. "Give me _one_ reason why I shouldn't slice you to pieces right now for breaking into Hinata House and trying to corrupt Shinobu with your filthy perversion."

"P-Perverted?! I wasn't doing anything perverted!" Keitaro protested, eyes darting back and forth between the swordswoman and her short fellow.

"A likely story," scoffed the swordswoman.

"B-But he's right!" the shy girl managed to get out. The swordswoman tensed up for a second, before turning her head towards her friend and cocking a skeptical eyebrow, making sure to keep Keitaro at the mercy of her sword. "A-All he did was ask me where Granny Hina was..."

"Granny Hina?" It was the swordswoman's turn to be surprised. "But... She's been gone for a week." She turned back to Keitaro, scoffed again and almost reluctantly sheathed her sword, causing him to collapse to the ground in relief.

"I do not know what you want with Granny Hina, intruder," she said, "but if you have come here in search of her, your efforts to find her are in vain. She is traveling abroad in search of the world's most renowned hot springs."

"S-So I've been told..." Keitaro mumbled, getting to his feet while warily eyeing the sheathed katana. He adjusted his specs and laced his fingers together, looking embarrassed. "I-I'm sorry for scaring you like that," he apologized. "M-My name's Keitaro Urashima. Hina is my grandmother."

The swordswoman's and the middle-schooler's eyes both widened.

"Your... grandmother. Granny Hina never told us she had a grandson," the swordswoman said, relaxing slightly (though still remaining on guard). She glanced at her sword, then at Keitaro, then at her sword again, and looked incredibly embarrassed, a blush coloring her pale cheeks. "Erm... My apologies for frightening you as well." She bit her lower lip. "My name is Motoko Aoyama. This is Shinobu Maehara. It is... a pleasure to meet you, Urashima-san."

"Um, nice to meet you too." Keitaro scratched the back of his head, wondering just how nice it was to make the acquaintance of someone who had just pulled a _live blade_ on him and threatened to kill him for a completely imagined slight. "Uh, are your parents here? You two seem awfully young to be staying at an inn all by your lonesome."

Motoko stiffened again, but Shinobu shook her head. "U-Um, Urashima-san, this isn't an inn..." the blue-haired girl explained carefully. "A while ago, Hinata House became an all-girl's dormitory."

The sound of Keitaro's jaw dropping all the way to the floor in pure shock and disbelief could have woken the dead.

"...Shinobu-chan, perhaps it would be better to explain this in the company of the others," Motoko said, looking somewhat concerned.

* * *

 ** _Glossary - A collection of terms used in this fanfiction that may be unfamiliar to the reader._**

 _Aozuki-hen_ : Literally translated from Japanese, "Blue Moon Chapter". The reasoning behind this title will become apparent later on, believe me.

Toudai: Officially the University of Tokyo ( ** _T_** _ **ō** kyo **dai** gaku_ in Japanese), it's a real place- a very prestigious university located in the Bunkyō municipality of Tokyo. It has a heavy emphasis on research. This is Keitaro's dream school, but it doesn't look like he'll be getting his acceptance letter any time soon.

 _Ronin:_ In feudal Japan, a ronin was a samurai without a master. In modern Japan, the word "ronin" is used as slang to describe an unemployed white-collar worker or a high school graduate who hasn't gotten into college or university. Poor Keitaro has been a ronin for three years straight- maybe he should aim a little lower than Toudai if the exams are that hard...


	2. Keitaro the Landlord

**_Author's Notes_**

 ** _And so, we begin to get into the meat of the story. Apologies if Naru may be a tiny bit out of character- she's a little hard to pin down when she isn't shrieking in anger and blasting Keitaro into the stratosphere with a Naru Punch._**

 ** _Fun Fact: I was introduced to Love Hina through the world of fanfiction, and before I saw pictures of how the characters actually look, I always imagined Naru as resembling Rack, a character from the horror/erotica series "Goumontou wa Nemuranai". Maybe don't look that series up if you're squeamish?_**

* * *

 _Love Hina: Aozuki-hen_

 _Act 1: An Unwelcome Visitor_

 _Part 2: Keitaro the Landlord_

 ** _-Hinata House [Dining Room], Late Afternoon-_**

This was quickly shaping up to be the strangest day of Keitaro's life, and that was saying something. After nearly being disembowled by a fifteen-year-old samurai (who was _taller than him_ ), he was now sitting in the large dining room of Hinata House, in the company of five young women, who were explaining the situation to him. Other than retiring Shinobu and severe Motoko, the inn-turned-dorm had three residents.

The first resident, who lived in Room 205, was a woman Keitaro's age with boyishly short, light brown hair, a mischievous twinkle in her eyes, who had introduced herself in the Kansai dialect as Mitsune Konno ("But call me Kitsune, 'kay?"). She was wearing an incongruous pairing of a pair of short-shorts with a red turtleneck, which highlighted how, ahem, _well-endowed_ she was. "Kitsune" had shown up at the dining table with a pen tucked behind her ear and a notebook in hand, mentioning that she was a freelance writer. This caused Motoko to snort in slight derision, which prompted Keitaro to doubt the veracity of Kitsune's statement.

The second tenant, who occupied Room 303, was a modestly-dressed seventeen-year-old with unusually long, reddish-brown hair, who answered to Naru Narusegawa, and who presently happened to be eyeing Keitaro with a sour expression; the minute Naru had come into the dining room and gotten a good look at Keitaro, her first reaction was "What the hell is a _man_ doing here?!" She was currently attending a cram school in the hope of passing the next round of entrance exams for Toudai, and openly admitted to hating "stupid perverts who try to feel me up, so you better _watch it_ , big shot." Keitaro winced as she cracked her knuckles and nailed him with a glare to rival Motoko's.

Last, but certainly not least, the occupant of Room 301 was a very unusual, school uniform-clad thirteen-year-old with white bangs and dark skin, named Kaolla Su. The name did not sound Japanese, and this was confirmed when Su cheerfully explained that she came from a nation in the Pararakelse Archipelago, a chain of islands close to the International Date Line. Her Japanese was slightly shaky, and for some reason, she spoke in the Kansai dialect like Kitsune. Not that Su was doing much, if any, speaking at the time- her attention was currently on the bunch of bananas Shinobu had procured from the kitchen and set down in front of her, horking them down like there was no tomorrow.

"As you can see," Motoko explained over bowls of a banana pudding parfait Shinobu had also whipped up, "we five are the only current residents of Hinata House, which was converted into an all-girls' dormitory, as Shinobu has previously informed you."

"What I want to know," Naru said sharply, "is why Granny Hina would send a loser like _you_ here and then not even bother to stick around."

Keitaro shook his head and shrugged. "Heck if I know," he replied, before a thought ocurred to him. "Say, uh, does Aunt Haruka still run that cafe down the hill? She might know."

On the grounds of the Hinata House property, slightly southeast of the inn itself and lower on the hill it occupied, sat the Hinata Cafe, a little teahouse that Keitaro's older cousin, Haruka Urashima, owned. If anyone could puzzle out this mess, it'd be her.

"Haruka?" Su paused in her relentless banana massacre to answer. "Yeah! She's still running the Cafe!"

"Yeah, you should go see her and get the hell out of our dorm," muttered Naru.

Keitaro sighed. -What'd I ever do to you?- he thought exasperatedly, finishing his parfait and standing up. "I guess I'll go see her, then. Thank you for the parfait, Maehara-san. It was delicious."

Shinobu blushed. "Awh... Y-You're welcome, Urashima-san," she said, averting her gaze and tapping her fingers together. For some strange reason, this caused Naru's glare at Keitaro to intensify.

It was a lucky thing that Keitaro's back was already turned, as he walked away from the dining room to go see his cousin.

- _I don't like this,_ \- thought Naru. - _I really don't like this._ -

* * *

 ** _-Hinata Cafe [Inside], Late Afternoon-_**

"Keitaro-kun!"

Haruka Urashima, the dark-haired, soft-eyed proprietor of the homely Hinata Cafe, was overjoyed to see her cousin-slash-nephew again.

"Aunt Haruka!" Keitaro grinned... then yelped in surprise and a little pain as Haruka flicked his nose. "Hey! What was that for?!"

"No calling me Aunt anymore, Kei-kun," the older woman scolded. "It makes me feel old!"

Keitaro rolled his eyes. "Sure, sure, whatever you say," he chuckled. "How've you been? It's been years!"

"It has!" Haruka embraced her younger cousin in a big hug. "I missed you so much, Kei-kun!" She stepped back, and raised an eyebrow. "What brings you here, anyhow?"

"Well, I was sent here by Granny Hina. Would you happen to know anything about that?"

Haruka twitched at the mention of Hina. "As it happens..." She groaned. "Come back behind the counter. I've something to show you." Turning, she plodded off behind the ordering counter, beckoning the _ronin_ to follow, which he did.

"Before Granny Hina left last week, she gave me this," Haruka explained as she opened up the cash register and fished out an envelope. "She told me to give it to you when you dropped by."

Raising an eyebrow, Keitaro took the envelope, and prised it open, taking out the letter inside.

"Dear Keitaro," he read carefully.

 ** _Dear Keitaro,_**

 ** _I'm dreadfully sorry for calling you to Hinata House on such short notice, and further for not even being here when you do show up. I've been dealing with a lot of, shall we say trouble lately, which necessitated speeding up my plans for the Hot Spring World Tour._**

 ** _But I digress. What I called you here for is a matter of great importance. There's still some life in these old bones yet, and I want to see the hot springs of the world before I die. However, Hinata House is the property of the Urashima family, and Haruka can't run it on her own- she has the Cafe to think of! As such, I wish to appoint you to the position of the Hinata's Kanrinin. Haruka has the official documents and ownership transfer forms- ask her for them when you're finished reading this. Again, I'm extremely sorry to foist this upon you so abruptly, but it's a necessary measure._**

 ** _Love,_**

 ** _Granny Hina_**

 ** _P.S. Hinata House has been converted from an inn to an all-girls' dormitory, and currently has five tenants. Some of them have problems with men, and could use the friendship of a kind-hearted and conscientious young laddie like yourself!_**

"Problems with men?" Keitaro snorted and turned to Haruka. "That Narusegawa chick looked like she wanted to punch me through a wall!"

"She probably would and will, given the chance," Haruka replied dryly, before sighing. "So, the old woman wants to make you the Hinata _Kanrinin_ , huh?"

"Looks like it." Keitaro looked down at the letter and sighed. "I wonder why... I don't know the first _thing_ about being a _Kanrinin_!"

"Meh, all the more incentive to learn," said Haruka with a shrug. "Think the girls'll take it well?"

* * *

 ** _-Hinata House [Reception Room], Late Afternoon-_**

As it turned out five minutes later, the girls (Naru and Motoko specifically) emphatically did _not_ take it well.

"A MAN as the _KANRININ_!?" Naru thundered, slamming her hands on the table in the reception room. "Of a GIRLS' DORMITORY!?"

Motoko looked vaguely sick. "What was Granny Hina thinking? How can we trust a _male_ to supervise us?"

"Hey!" Keitaro gave Motoko an offended glare.

"As long as he's fun, I don't care!" Su proclaimed, unflappable as ever.

"That's not the point, Su!" groaned Naru. "He could perv out on us any time he wants!"

"What's a perv out?" was the response. "Is it tasty?"

Keitaro shot a baffled glance in Su's direction. "I- wha?" he asked, dumbstruck by the island girl's outlandish question.

"Eh, she does that sometimes," dismissed Kitsune, who had shown up toting a bottle of sake- Keitaro noted that it was Gekkeikan-brand. "Ya get used to it. What I wanna know is why the heck Granny didn't even _tell_ us she was sendin' her grandson to take over as the _Kanrinin_."

"Your guess is as good as mine, Kitsune." Haruka sighed. "Who knows what goes on in her head sometimes... But no matter. Like Granny Hina said in her letter, I can't supervise the Cafe _and_ the dorms simultaneously. I can't be in two different places at the same time."

Keitaro chuckled at Haruka's comment, but his laughter was silenced by Naru loudly and rudely asking "What's so funny, loser?"

"I thought Haruka-san's comment was funny, okay?" Keitaro shot back, more than a little snideness in his tone. "Excuse _me_ for having a sense of humor, Princess."

"You...! Why I oughta-!" Naru stood up from the table the seven were all gathered around, balling up her fists, but before she could do something rash, Kitsune spoke up again.

"Saaaay, Keitaro," she mentioned, "if you're gonna be our _Kanrinin_ , why don'tcha tell us a li'l more about yourself? We hardly know ya, after all!"

Naru sat back down, still smoldering, as Keitaro realized that this was indeed the case.

"Oh, jeez, I really didn't, did I?" he said. "Gosh, I should've introduced myself properly sooner. My name's Keitaro Urashima. I'm nineteen, and I'm trying to get into Tokyo University."

Naru's eyes widened. "Really? Toudai?" she questioned.

"Uh-huh." Keitaro nodded. "I've been studying really hard and trying to pass the entrance exams..." He bit his lower lip and rubbed the back of his head. "For, uh, about three years now."

The shocked silence after this statement was so utterly still, you could have heard a pin drop...

...at least until Naru broke out into hysterical laughter, clutching at her sides.

"Oh, my God!" she cackled. "You're a three-year ronin? That's the most pathetic thing I've ever heard! Gahahaha! Are you really that stupid!? You'll never get into Toudai that way!"

Keitaro's face flushed with embarassment. "H-Hey!" he protested weakly. "C'mon, gimme a break! Those exams are _brutal!_ "

All Naru did was laugh harder and harder, rolling on the floor and kicking her feet, until Haruka had the presence of mind to flick her in the forehead.

"Yow!" The long-haired girl shot up with a wince of pain. "The heck was that for!?"

"Need I remind you that _you_ still haven't taken the entrance exams ONCE?" Haruka admonished. "You're in no place to be laughing at my nephew, Naru. Apologize, right now."

Naru glowered, first at Haruka, then at Keitaro, then at the thought of apologizing to the maligned _ronin_. "Ugh," she grumbled, before facing Keitaro. "Sorry." The apology was terse, grunted out, and hardly sincere at all, but Keitaro accepted it with good grace.

"Uhm, what are you going to be doing as the _Kanrinin_?" Shinobu asked, twiddling her thumbs. "I-I already do a lot of cooking and cleaning..."

"I dunno." Keitaro shrugged. "I guess I'll usually be doing cleaning too, and repairs if there are any. Are the hot springs still around?"

"You betcha!" Su chirped. "They're sooo nice and warm!" She giggled brightly.

"Alright, then I guess I'll be keeping them in shape too... Whooboy, this is shaping up to be a lot of work already. I'm gonna need a lot of help if I'm gonna be the _Kanrinin_." Keitaro slumped his shoulders... only to recieve a reassuring pat on the back from Kitsune.

"Hey, that's no problem, _Kanrinin_ -san!" she said cheerfully, hanging on to Keitaro's arm and getting up in his face. "We'll be glad to help ya out!"

"R-Really?" Keitaro blushed. "Gosh, thanks..."

"Indeed." Motoko nodded as well, expression stoic. "As..." She paused for a second, trying to find a good word. "...as _unorthodox_ as this new arrangement may be, it should be harmonious. Providing, of course, that a certain _Kanrinin_ should not attempt anything _lewd._ "

"Wouldn't dream of it..." assured Keitaro, noting the veiled threat of a painful death in Motoko's statement should he not heed her words. He wasn't sure if said death would be by stabbing or slicing, and wasn't exactly eager to find out.

"I-I'm okay with this too, if you all are," contributed Shinobu. "P-Please take care of us, _Kanrinin_ -san...!"

"Hey, as long as you're fun, I don't mind either!" Su beamed.

"Meh," Naru conceded. "Just don't try any monkey business."

* * *

 ** _-Hinata House [Hot Springs], Early Evening-_**

After breaking the news to the girls, Keitaro and Haruka went back to the Cafe, where they pored in tandem over the ownership papers. Keitaro could honestly say he'd never seen that many papers in one place in his life, and he soon developed a cramp in his hand from having to sign them about a zillion times. And this was on top of a cramp in Keitaro's arse from sitting for too long, as well as the strain of having climbed up all those "Freaking STAIRS, why is it always STAIRS".

Thus, once the mountains of paperwork were taken care of, Keitaro decided to go out to the inn's legendary hot springs and rest his weary bones.

"Man, I've missed being able to chill out in a hot spring," the bespectacled ronin muttered to himself as he made for Hinata House's northern wing, which housed the outdoor baths. Keitaro had not gotten the opportunity to truly unwind in years. Too much of his time had been spent studying, and if it wasn't studying, it was...

...Keitaro shook his head. He was drifting back into thoughts of THAT again. "Ugh. Stop thinking about it, Keitaro!" he scolded himself, lightly rapping a fist against the side of his head. "There's plenty of time to think about it later. For now, hot..."

Keitaro was snapped out of his chastisement by a high-pitched shriek, and he looked up...

...to see that he had unthinkingly wandered into the hot springs, where Naru was getting into the water.

Buck.

 _Freaking._

 _ **Naked.**_

For a moment that felt like an eon, Keitaro and Naru stared at each other, Naru's face red from an intense blush.

Then, Naru was upon him.

"I knew it!" she hollered, lunging- still in the nude- at the ronin and swinging her fists wildly. Keitaro yelped and backed away. "You _are_ a pervert! Walking in on me naked!? I knew you were up to no good, you pig!"

"W-Whoa! Stop it! Hey! It was an accident!" Keitaro had to duck and weave wildly to dodge Naru's vicious attacks, and even then she still ended up clobbering him, clouting him on the shoulders and in the forehead several times.

" _As if_!" Naru thundered. She wound up and delivered a right hook that would have made a champion boxer wet themself, and it connected squarely with Keitaro's nose, which broke rather badly. Keitaro saw stars, but the minute Naru noticed the steady trickle of blood pouring from Keitaro's nose, she saw red again.

"And now you're nose bleeding because you saw my boobs! PERVERT! **_PERVERT_**!" Keitaro staggered back under the force of blow after blow, helpless to stop the assault.

"Someone help!" Keitaro called, voice quavering. "Narusegawa's gone crazy!"

Immediately, Motoko came running, with Su trailing behind. "What in the nine hells is going on here!?" she asked sharply.

"This PERVERT was peeping on me in the bath!" Naru shouted, pointing angrily at the severely roughed-up Kanrinin.

"Peeping!?" Motoko's eyes narrowed dangerously, and she unsheathed her sword. This time, it was a simple _bokuto_ rather than the menacing katana she had pulled on Keitaro earlier in the afternoon, but it was still pretty scary to poor Keitaro.

Especially once he saw the _aura of ethereal flame_ that surrounded it.

"You dishonest lech! _ZANKUUSEN_!" Motoko shouted, and in a graceful, deadly arc, she unleashed a vicious slash attack upon Keitaro. Astonishingly, though, a simple blow wasn't where it ended. The white fire shot i)out(i from the sword, and blasted Keitaro into the hot spring, where his bruised, broken body fell into the water!

"Oww..." Keitaro moaned, whimpering as he felt the copious amount of bruises that were already beginning to form from Naru and Motoko's brutal tag-team. He sank into the hot brown water, and began choking as it got into his nose and mouth.

"ACKPTH!" The poor, beaten ronin shot up, to see Kitsune, Shinobu and Su trying to restrain the swordsman and the pugilist from proceeding into the springs to beat Keitaro up even more.

"Stop it, Naru!" Shinobu wailed as she struggled to hold Naru back with Kitsune's help.

"Get OFF me, Shinobu!" Naru snapped. "This pervert deserves every ounce of pain inflicted on him!"

"Doesn't mean you have to beat him into a pancake, sugar!" Kitsune retorted, heaving with all her might.

"Let me GO, Su!" Motoko growled, straining to escape Su's hold. "I must punish this perverted male for his lechery!"

"Nope!" Su shook her head vehemently. "If ya kill him we won't have a _Kanrinin_!"

Unfortunately for Keitaro, Su's grip may have been like iron, but Motoko had extensive practice in breaking free of it. She managed to get Su off her, and stalked towards Keitaro, another energy attack already forming on her sword.

Keitaro's eyes widened in horror. Motoko's gait, the furious look in her eyes... He knew them all too well. He was about to die.

There was only one thing to do. Almost on autopilot, Keitaro closed his eyes, and took a deep breath with his diaphragm.

"Die, Urashima!" Motoko hollered, swinging her sword. " _Raimeiken_!"

But her voice sounded faraway to Keitaro's ears. Time seemed to come to a standstill for him...

 ** _"Ouka Gen'ei!"_**

* * *

Motoko Aoyama had seen many things in her lifetime. Deadly sword attacks, faced and learned. Betrayals of trust. Tragic battles between feuding families. The lessons of the Aoyama clan and the Shinmei-ryu school of swordfighting it laid claim to.

None of those things had prepared her for this.

As soon as Keitaro had shouted " _Ouka Gen'ei_!", Motoko felt the perverted Kanrinin's ki signature, or something like it, spike. Then, all of a sudden, a flurry of cherry blossoms surrounded him, and Motoko felt... weak. The lightning aura around her bokuto faded out into nothingness, and her strike was slowed drastically, to the point where it ended up as nothing but a tap to Keitaro's shoulder.

The cherry blossoms vanished as quickly as they had appeared, and with a thrill of shock, Motoko realized that Keitaro looked good as new, if slightly winded. His broken nose had healed, and there wasn't a single bruise on him. Whatever had just happened, he seemed reinvigorated- enough so to wrench the bokuto from Motoko's hand and toss it away, where it landed in the corner of the bathing area with a loud clatter.

"So," the Kanrinin panted. "Am I allowed to say my piece now? Or are you two gonna try and beat me to death again?"

All five of the girls gaped at Keitaro.

"I- I don't-" Motoko stammered.

Kitsune, Su, and Shinobu just stared in silent shock, eyes wider than dinner plates.

"W-What the _hell_ was that!?" Naru sputtered.

Keitaro groaned and got out of the water. "Never you mind," he said. "Anyway, if you'll let me talk now, I'd like to say that I was _not_ peeping on Naru."

"Not peeping!?" Naru scoffed. "What a load of crap! I saw your nose bleeding, you pervert! You were obviously staring-"

"My nose was bleeding because _you broke it_!" Keitaro snapped, cutting Naru off. "All I did was walk in on you in the baths, _completely_ by accident, because I wasn't looking where I was going! I had my head down until you screamed at me!"

Motoko suddenly felt extremely ashamed of herself. She, without even thinking about the circumstances behind the incident, had blindly rushed into the situation and attacked Keitaro with extremely unreasonable violence. At this rate, she'd be kicked out of Hinata House or worse, and on top of that, if the Shinmei-ryu school caught wind of what she had done... Motoko shivered slightly and mentally noted that she needed to apologize and make restitution to Keitaro as soon as humanly possible.

"Then- then why were you staring at me!?" Naru glared. "I bet you're just lying to cover your ass because you wanna have your way with me."

"Ugh... You really are stubborn. I was staring because I was startled and didn't know what to do. Trust me, I feel _nothing_ for you." Keitaro chuckled bitterly. "Like I'd find a crazy, violent harpy who openly _hates_ me attractive in any way?"

Motoko could have sworn the temperature in the room dropped to negative forty. Every girl in the room, including her, was staring at Keitaro with mouths agape, shocked at his blatant audacity in insulting NARU NARUSEGAWA, the Bane of Perverts, She of the Iron Right Hook.

"Oh, by the way," the _Kanrinin_ added, "you're still naked."

Naru's eyes widened, and she looked down at herself, before letting out a high-pitched squeak of shock. She covered herself, and scurried away, back to her room to get some clothes on.

With Naru and her wild accusations out of the way, Motoko took initiative. She had once again wronged an innocent with her blade, and the guilt of her misdeed was weighing heavily on her. She clasped her hands together and bowed deeply.

"Keitaro... Urashima-san," she said, attracting the _ronin_ 's attention. "I wish to apologize for assaulting you. I was frightened by Naru's accusation and didn't think to get the whole story before dispensing judgment."

Keitaro smiled thinly. "Apology accepted, Motoko," he said, before sighing. "Just... don't let it happen again, alright?"

"I understand. I defer to your judgment as _Kanrinin_ of what my punishment should be for assaulting you so gravely."

This caused the _Kanrinin_ to look taken aback. "Punishment?"

Motoko nodded as she got up from her bow. "Indeed. Am I not to be punished for my wrongdoing?"

"No, I just..." Keitaro dithered a little bit, rocking back and forth on his heels. "I'm, uh, gonna level with you, I'm not really sure what a fitting punishment would be."

"I say you make her scrub the floors!" Su said with a giggle.

"With a toothbrush!" added Kitsune.

Shinobu sighed. "Isn't that a little too harsh, Kitsune-san..?"

"I agree," said Keitaro, crossing his arms. "Besides, scrubbing things with toothbrushes is what those American military sargeants make you do. I don't want to be a hardcase like them..." He rocked a bit more, sticking his hands in his sodden pockets, before coming to a decision. "Motoko Aoyama-san, for hurting me unreasonably, I sentence you with my position as _Kanrinin_ to scrub the floors of Hinata House tomorrow at eight thirty in the morning... and forbid you to do..." He glanced at the bokuto. "Whatever the heck you were doing just then, with all the _CRASH_ and the _KA-BOOM_."

"The... ka-boom?" Motoko blinked.

"Y'know, with the shiny energy things, and the _SCHWING- **BOOM**_?" Keitaro made a weird, wavy motion with his hands. "With all of the _KAZAZAP_?"

"...Do... you mean the ki attacks I used against you?" asked the swordswoman.

"Yeah, those things." Keitaro shuddered. "Those HURT. Please don't use them on me."

"...Understood." Motoko nodded tentatively, still a little weirded out by Keitaro's energetic use of onomatopoeia. "I, er, promise I'll restrain myself from using ki attacks on you."

"Thanks." Keitaro let out a relieved half-chuckle, before he looked down and saw how wet he was. "Aw, jeez, I'm all wet! I better go dry off... See you guys later!" He trotted away to get dry, still dripping as he walked down the hallway.

"Bye, Keitaro!" Su waved.

Motoko didn't notice. The hullaballoo sparked by Keitaro and Naru's little shouting match had wiped it from her mind, but Keitaro's mention of ki attacks had reminded her of what the Kanrinin had done. Somehow, almost on instinct, he had performed some kind of ki-concentrating technique that had weakened Motoko and strengthened him, to the point where he had been almost fully healed of every injury Naru and Motoko had inflicted on him. The martial artist cupped her hand to her chin, frowning thoughtfully. This merited investigation.

* * *

 _ **-Hinata House [Room 203], Late Evening-**_

- _Stupid, stupid, stupid!_ \- Keitaro berated himself, once the situation with Naru had been resolved and everyone had partaken of an excellent supper cooked by Shinobu. He angrily paced around the room that had been designated his, chewing himself out viciously. - _Of all the stupid, stupid things you could've done, you HAD to use Ouka Gen'ei in front of FIVE people!_ -

He sat down, still smoldering. "God, I dunno what I'm gonna do if THAT gets out," he muttered, low enough that he was sure Naru in the room above and Kitsune in the next over couldn't hear. In a public dormitory, one could never be too sure of how thin the walls were. "Oh, well... At least there hasn't been a..."

And then, Keitaro wasn't seeing the inside of his room at all, but a different scene entirely.

* * *

 ** _Out of the ocean, crawling, skittering across the sand, thousands upon thousands, ready to maul tear slice devour._**

 ** _Men sobbing women praying children screaming as they vanished into greedy maws._**

 ** _Death everywhere, unstoppable._**

 ** _And at the center of it all, high in the black sky, a lurid blue moon._**

* * *

Keitaro gasped, snapping out of his trance and taking in the familiar-ish surroundings of Hinata House in an instant.

"Shit!" he cursed, keeping his voice down as much as he could. "Why now!? Why tonight!? Who decides these things!?"

After a few minutes of futile raging, the ronin sighed and adjusted his glasses. It was going to be a very, very long night.

* * *

 _ **Glossary**_

 _Kanrinin_ : Literally "manager". Something like a building superintendent, landlord, and custodian all rolled into one. As of this chapter, Keitaro is the current Kanrinin of Hinata House.

 _Bokuto_ : A wooden sword, usually in the shape of a katana. Also referred to as a bokken. They are sturdy and strong, and can be lethal weapons in their own right. There are stories of Japanese swordmasters who have felled their foes using only a bokuto. Don't confuse them with shinai, which are also wooden blades, but are more flexible and used for practicing and kendo competitions. Motoko, ever the blade-happy jidaigeki reject, usually carries a bokuto around when she's unable to tote her live sword.

 _Zankuusen_ : Literally "Air-Cutting Slash". A fictional sword strike, taught in the Shinmei-ryu style of swordfighting in Ken Akamatsu's works. The attack infuses the blade being used with ki (life-force), to create a circular slash attack.

 _Raimeiken_ : Literally "Thunderclap Sword". A fictional sword technique taught by the Shinmei-ryu. The attack infuses the blade with lightning, causing an electric attack.

 _Ouka Gen'ei_ : Literally "Cherry Blossom Mirage". More on this later!


	3. An Unexpected Arrival

**_Author's Notes_**

 ** _This chapter, you'll see two faces that might be familiar to you if you like older anime._**

 ** _Special Thanks to: Kamen Rider Chrome (totally freakin' rad name, by the way, I love Kamen Rider!), CodeMasterFiFi, James Birdsong, Jack Fedora (hi dad!), and Wittman the Tiger Ace. Y'all rock!_**

 ** _Fun Fact: I've been putting this all off for so long because I've been making preparations to go to college! That's right, folks, yours truly is eighteen years old now, and headed to CSUN at the end of August to pursue a degree in Psychology! Also, short chapter is short. Apologies._**

* * *

 _Love Hina: Aozuki-hen_

 _Act 2: Keitaro's First Day_

 _Part 1: An Unexpected Arrival_

 _ **-Hinata House [Keitaro's Room], Early Morning-**_

Keitaro yawned and stretched as he woke up. It had been a rough night, and a very long one, but he was glad to have gotten what little sleep he did.

- _Dang, what a night,_ \- he thought as he got up out of his futon. He checked the LED-lit alarm clock, to find it displaying 7:00 in blue letters. The ronin sighed, and got up, going to the closet to get himself something to wear and making a note to himself to buy new clothes.

Once he was fully dressed, Keitaro decided to go freshen up in the bathrooms. Luckily, on his trip to Hinata House he had been carrying a backpack filled with basic necessities, including a portable toothbrush and a travel-sized tube of toothpaste. His breath was... well, it wasn't pleasant, and Keitaro had the sneaking suspicion that if he wanted to remain on decent terms with the tenants, he'd need to freshen up and make himself look presentable.

Opening the door out to the hallway, he looked left, then right, and sauntered out...

 ** _"G'MORNING!"_**

 ** _WHAM!_**

The next thing he knew, Keitaro was sprawling on the floor, his head aching, and none other than tiny Kaolla Su was standing above him. She had come out of absolutely nowhere with a flying kick straight to his head.

"What's for breakfast?" the islander girl asked cheerily.

Keitaro groaned, staggering to his feet. "Ow.." The Kanrinin held his head, looking incredibly pained. "W-What was _that...?_ "

"Oh, that's a customary morning greeting where I'm from!" Su explained, before darting around Keitaro to go to breakfast. "C'mon, Keitaro-san, let's go!" She ran down the hall, giggling, as Keitaro looked on in bewilderment.

"That's what passes for a greeting around here...?" he muttered, before going to the bathroom to wash up. It didn't take him very long to get there. Even though Su's impromptu attack had necessitated a bit of skulking around, so as to avoid any _more_ crazy adolescents leaping out at him to give him a concussion, he managed to make it to the washroom in one piece, and groom himself for the day, before heading down to the dining room for breakfast.

* * *

 ** _-Hinata House [Naru's Room], Early Morning-_**

Naru Narusegawa was having a very bad morning. She hadn't been able to sleep a wink since last night, and it was all because of that _stupid_ , **_no-good_** , _**PERVERTED-!**_

Viciously, Naru ran a brush through her long, ruddy hair, imagining the brush was a knife she was skinning Keitaro with. Of all things, the _Kanrinin_ had had the _audacity_ to peep on her in the bath, and then embarrass her right in front of her friends! And not one of them but Motoko had stepped in to defend her! She glared daggers at the center of her room, where a pile of wooden boards and a plush toy of a cartoon character covered a large hole in the floor. While Granny Hina had been _Kanrinin_ , the two had used the hole to talk. Now, the _Kanrinin_ 's room was occupied by Keitaro, and who knew what kinds of perverse antics he would get up to once he found out about the hole?

On impulse, the redhead abandoned her brushing, reached over, and picked up the plushie, hugging it close.

"What'm I gonna do, Liddo-kun?" Naru muttered miserably, burying her face in the squirrel-like toy's plush fur. "That guy is nothing but trouble, I can sense it..."

And if so, she thought to herself, why the hell can't I get him off my mind? He was not particularly physically attractive, owing to his slim frame, mundane hairstyle, and, frankly, dorky-ass glasses, but when he had blown Motoko away with that cherry blossom thing... A ripple of some strange, unfamiliar emotion squiggled down Naru's spine, causing the Toudai hopeful to shiver. The fire in his eyes while defending himself from attack... It was so...

So _enthralling_.

Eventually, though, Naru got fed up. "Bah!" she shouted, tossing Liddo-kun the stuffie back onto his perch above the hole. "I've had it!" Anger rekindled, the fiery redhead finished attacking her hair, got on some decent clothes, and stomped her way down to breakfast.

* * *

 ** _-Hinata House [Kitchen], Early Morning-_**

It was a nice, bright morning, the radio was belting out bubbly J-pop tunes, and Shinobu Maehara was bright-eyed and bushy-tailed in the kitchen, cooking up a morning meal for her fellow tenants of Hinata House. Today, the blue-haired girl had decided to make something special, in honor of Keitaro's new job as Kanrinin: six sumptuous bowls of oyakodon! Shinobu happily hummed along to the radio's beat as she ladled steamy rice into six bowls, followed by a savory mix of chicken, egg, and scallions, all simmered to perfection in dashi sauce.

As she cooked, the little middle-schooler's thoughts drifted. Eventually, she found herself remembering the tumultuous events of the previous night. How Naru, frothing at the mouth, had beaten Keitaro to a pulp for the crime of accidentally walking in on her in the bath. How Motoko, driven by misplaced justice, had joined in...

...and how Keitaro had stopped both of them in their tracks in a flurry of cherry blossoms.

Where the flowers had come from, Shinobu had no idea. All she knew was that somehow, Keitaro had saved his own hide and, miraculously, healed himself, before giving Naru and Motoko a sorely-deserved tongue-lashing. Naru had scurried away once Keitaro had pointed out that she was naked, and Motoko had humbled herself to accept punishment- from a i)man(i, no less!

The blue-haired girl chuckled, before noticing Kitsune slink into the kitchen.

"Mornin', Shinobu-chan," the short-haired woman greeted, cheerfully waving at the diminutive cook.

"O-oh, good morning, Kitsune-senpai," Shinobu returned. "You're just in time for breakfast! Can you round up the others and tell them breakfast is ready?"

"Sure thing, sugar!" Kitsune smiled and took a look at Shinobu's chosen dish. "Ooh boy, oyakodon! You don't normally make this, do ya?"

"N-No," the little cook said honestly. "I'm making it in honor of Keitaro!"

At the mention of their new Kanrinin's name, Kitsune got a funny expression on her face. It was one Shinobu recognized- a slow, lazy curling upward of the lips. A devious expression.

"Is that so?" the fox-like girl said sweetly, clasping her hands together and interlacing her fingers. "What do you think of our dear new landlord anyhow, Shinobu-chan?"

"Uhm, well, I think he's very nice, and..." Shinobu tapped her fingers together. "Uh... I- I honestly think that Naru and Motoko are being too hard on him..." Her last words were spoken in a mumble.

Kitsune let out a sharp bark of laughter. "Too _hard_ on him? Ha! Did you _see_ him before he did the thing with the flowers? Poor idiot looked like a dead man walking!"

"That's the thing that's bothering me," Shinobu said softly, before looking around with wide eyes, as though she feared Naru or Motoko chancing on their conversation. "Why did Naru have to go to such extremes without even letting Keitaro defend himself? It just rubs me the wrong way..."

" _What_ rubs you the wrong way?" a voice asked, and Shinobu went white as Naru entered, looking disgruntled.

"N-Nothing!" squeaked the middle schooler. "J-just this whole situation feels weird..."

"Huh, I'll say." Naru snorted and looked at the oyakodon. "Breakfast?" Shinobu just nodded meekly. "Ah, great. Don't mind if I do." The redhead scooped up a bowl, retrieved some utensils, and stalked away to eat.

* * *

 ** _-Hinata House [Dining Room], Early Morning-_**

Breakfast was a very subdued affair that morning. After the display in the hot spring last night, none of the girls could work up the courage to speak to Keitaro except for Su, and she was too busy shoveling food into her mouth to make any conversation. Motoko was absent- scrubbing the floors as punishment for her previous transgression, no doubt. Naru had her nose in a book as she ate, pointedly ignoring Keitaro. Kitsune and Shinobu were both watching the _Kanrinin_ as he ate, the former with an expression of intense scrutiny, the latter with a shyer look.

Speaking of Keitaro's eating, he was eating much more and much faster than he had last night- his food consumption almost rivaled Su's, though his manners were much better.

"Someone's hungry," Kitsune finally commented, causing Keitaro to freeze after slurping up some egg.

"Uh... Y-Yeah." He let a nervous smile onto his face. "So, uh, can I ask about your schedules?"

Naru looked up from her book. "I go to cram school from eight to four, Shinobu and Su have middle school from nine thirty to three, Motoko has high school from nine to three, Kitsune just lazes around doing whatever," she said tersely.

"Oh. Uh... Okay then." Keitaro bit his lip and finished up his bowl, then went to the kitchen to wash it. "I'm gonna look over the place and see what needs repairing..."

"You do that," grunted Naru. She took a look at the clock, and her eyes widened. "Oh, crap... We're gonna be late for class! Su, Shinobu, hurry it up! Someone get Motoko!"

* * *

 ** _-Hinata House [Outside], Late Morning-_**

"H-How much farther...?"

"No worries, we're here!"

"Oh thank _god_..."

Outside the Hinata Inn, long after the four girls had left for school, two people had just ascended the stairs and were standing in front of the majestic blue building. One seemed hale and hearty, but the other was panting heavily. Both were toting a suitcase.

"Oouuuh..." the tired one groaned. He was a teenage boy- around Su's age, maybe a bit older- and had on a white dress shirt, and slacks. His hair was short and brown, and his face, though pleasantly boyish, seemed to be permanently home to a sullen expression.

In contrast, his companion was an adult woman with longer purple hair, wearing a red jacket over a black skirt and an olive green shirt. She seemed much more cheerful as she patted the boy on the back. "Oh, Shinji-kun, cheer up a little. You won't have to deal with those nasty stairs now, eh? Besides, you get to see Keitaro-kun again!"

"Uuh... If you say so, Misato-san..." Tentatively, Shinji approached the doors, and knocked.

* * *

 ** _-Hinata House [Common Room], Late Morning-_**

Thunk thunk thunk! Kitsune paused the television as she heard the knock on the inn's door. "What the...?" It couldn't be Haruka- she was definitely too busy running the cafe. But then who? Su, Shinobu, Motoko, and Naru had left, and Keitaro was too busy inside to be doing anything out there.

As such, it fell to one Mitsune Konno to open the door. However, she would certainly take her sweet time doing so. She sat up, and allowed herself to have a looooooong, bone-cracking stretch and yawn, before sticking her hands in the pockets of her short-shorts and sauntering to the door.

With a creak, it opened, and she was confronted by the boy and the woman who had just arrived.

"Uh, hello," the boy said shyly, stepping back a ways. "This is Hinata House, correct? Is Urashima Keitaro here?"

* * *

 ** _Glossary_**

Liddo-kun: A cartoon character in the world of "Love Hina". A yellow, squirrel-like creature, he is the star of the kiddie show "Liddo-kun and Friends". Keitaro and Naru are both fond of the character. Naru's Liddo-kun doll was a gift from an old friend.

Oyakodon: A popular breakfast meal in Japan, belonging to the family of donburi (dishes of meat or veggies served over rice bowls). The name means "parent and child bowl", a flavorful description of its containing both chicken and eggs! I'm getting hungry just thinking about it.


	4. Sullen Boy, Enraged Girl

_**Author's Notes**_

 _ **Sorry it's been so long! Two years, dear lord. School and stuff, and executive dysfunction. I am a wreck, I swear. (Plus, I'm twenty now, whoa!) Anyhow, meat time! Shinji and Misato's true debut, as well as more worldbuilding, and suspicion! Stay tuned!**_

 _ **Also, yes, Eva fans, I ship KawoShin. They make for a positively Angelic pair. ;)**_

 _ **Fun Fact: Rachel Platten's "Fight Song" is amazing motivational music for just about anything.**_

* * *

 _Love Hina: Aozuki-hen_

 _Act 2: Keitaro's First Day_

 _Part 2: Sullen Boy, Enraged Girl_

 ** _-Hinata House [Common Room], Late Morning-_**

A very unusual circle of five people gathered in the center of the room- Keitaro (who looked surprised), Haruka (who looked thoughtful), Misato (who looked bright), Shinji (who looked glum), and Kitsune (who looked perplexed).

The last of the aforementioned rubbed the back of her head. "So, uh, recap what's going on?"

Keitaro sighed. "Right... Mitsune-san, these are two of my friends, Misato Katsuragi and Shinji Ikari. They're in town on a paid vacation from their workplace in Hakone, and heard I was staying here as Kanrinin. Misato, Shinji, this is Mitsune, one of my tenants."

"Hakone, huh?" Kitsune whistled. "Nice." She cupped her chin with one hand and eyed Shinji, who flinched slightly. "This li'l bean sprout has a full-time job at the tender age of what, sixteen? I find that hard to believe."

"It's the truth," chirped Misato. "Shinji-kun here is my ward while he helps out at NERV."

"Uh, that's where we work," Shinji clarified. "Anyway, uh, we heard about Keitaro-san becoming the Kanrinin of Hinata House, and Misato-san decided we should vacation here with him."

"Interesting..." Haruka pursed her lips. "You do know that Hinata House is a girls-only facility currently?"

"W-Wait, wha?!" Misato's jaw dropped. "You're not serious, are you?" At Haruka's nod, she groaned. "Oh my _god_ , what prude decided that?"

Keitaro snorted at "prude". "It was my grandmother's decision, actually. She left me the place and a truckload of paperwork." He chuckled a little bit, flexing the fingers of his right hand- there was still a hint of a cramp in them. "I think I could technically return the House to being co-ed, though..."

"That would be great of you," Misato said with a relieved sigh. "So, tell me more about yourself, uh... Konno-san?"

"Mitsune," Kitsune clarified, "though I prefer Kitsune, sugar. I'm what you might call a freelance writer, and I love a good bottle of sake!"

"Sake? Blegh." Misato stuck her tongue out playfully. "Yebisu or nothing."

"Ew! That stuff's swill," Kitsune laughed, and to Keitaro and Haruka's bemusement and Shinji's amusement, the two proceeded to get into a playful argument about alcohol.

Shinji allowed himself a small, restrained chuckle. "They certainly get along..."

"Yup," Keitaro agreed. "So, Shinji-kun, how's life in Hakone? It's been a while, and we haven't really gotten the chance to talk."

"Oh, life is... okay." Shinji shrugged. "I have friends at NERV, and school, and..."

"And?" Haruka cocked an eyebrow.

"Uh..." Shinji blushed deep red. "I met a boy named Kaworu and, uh... we've been dating for a while..."

"That's great!" Keitaro beamed. "I wish you two happiness."

"Shucks..." Shinji's blush grew even more intense as he rubbed the back of his head. However, he soon grew serious. "Um, aside from mundane life, Keitaro-san..." He leaned closer to Keitaro, and whispered, "Don't you think we and Misato-san should talk about what happened last night?"

Keitaro's face became grave as well. "I know," he murmured back, "but I can't let the tenants know about it. It's too risky."

"I get what you mean..." Shinji bit his lower lip. "Sorry, I'm kind of used to it being a public thing in NERV." He shrugged.

"Mm. We'll talk tonight, once everyone else is asleep. Did you or Misato get any visions today?" When Shinji shook his head, Keitaro sighed in relief. "That's one weight off my chest. Here, I'll show you and Misato around if you want."

* * *

 ** _-Azabu-Juuban Cram School [Hallway], Noon-_**

"PERVERT!"

 _KRACK._

Naru, hunched over and nostrils flaring, glared down at the boy she had just punched, who was lying on the linoleum floor, bleeding from a broken nose. Everyone around her was giving her a seriously wide berth, all staring in shock either at the enraged girl or the punched boy.

"And don't you DARE look up my skirt like that EVER again, GOT IT!?" Naru shouted at her victim, whose only response was a frightened whimper. She kicked him in the side, then stormed off down the halls, whispers trailing after her like storm clouds following a cartoon character.

"Did you see that punch?!"

"I never thought Narusegawa would knock someone's teeth out..."

"And he didn't even do anything either..."

The redhead heard none of this. She was too busy revelling privately in her own righteous fury. She had just defeated a pervert who had been peeking up her skirt! That ought to teach him a lesson about victimizing girls.

In this self-congratulatory reverie, Naru didn't notice that the only looks she was recieving from the other students were ones of fear and disgust.

* * *

 ** _-Hinata House [Hot Spring], Early Evening-_**

Motoko sighed as she laid back in the hot spring's water, hair drifting around her head like a dark halo.

The teenage samurai's thoughts were all over the place, as they had been since she awoke. First her grievous altercations with Keitaro, then the bizarre ocurrence of Keitaro's... she still couldn't figure out if it was a ki attack or something similar. It had behaved much like one, but the aura signature on it felt... _alien_ , somehow. In fact, now that Motoko had the ability to devote her attention to it, rather than having her thoughts scattered by cleaning, school, or kendo, she now recognized with a chill down her spine that somehow, some way, there had been another presence inside the hot spring that fateful evening.

Motoko was, like all warriors of the Shinmei-ryu, trained in the art of sensing people's auras. She knew the aura signatures of every resident of the Hinata House like the back of her hand. Subconsciously, she associated them with "flavors". Su's was like the top of a root beer float, foamy, sweet, and bubbly with mischief. Kitsune's was champagne- also effervescent, but fruity rather than rooty, with the slightest fiery bite to it. (Motoko inwardly smirked whenever she pondered it: ironic that the sake-loving party girl would have an aura that "tasted" like a much more elegant drink.) Shinobu's was lavender. A pure and clean, if understated taste. Naru's, Motoko likened to a pot of spicy soup coming to a boil: pleasantly piquant and exciting when allowed the chance to cool off, but dangerous when roiling. Haruka's aura was a much more sedate licorice, a mature and earthy taste.

But Keitaro's aura defied quick description. Earlier that day, when she returned to Hinata House from school, Motoko had taken a quick look at him using her ability to sense aura. She was nearly sent reeling when it detected two "flavors" intertwined, so closely Motoko could not easily separate them into two separate auric signatures. One was a standard "vanilla" that Motoko found was common- the hallmark of a mild, soothing and goodnatured personality. The other, she had never encountered before. If she had to put words to it, it would be something like an extremely juicy cherry - overpowering in its simultaneous blend of sweet and sour, almost electric. The two aura signatures seemed to complement one another perfectly, the "vanilla" providing a refreshing and calming counterpoint to the whirlwind of intensity that was the "cherry", and the "cherry" breathing new life into the "vanilla" and making it stand out. No doubt Keitaro was the source of the vanilla aura- he was certainly milquetoast enough- but the presence of the cherry aura made Motoko wonder...

The swordfighter snapped out of her woolgathering and sat up. There had been other issues that day, too: two other newcomers had apparently shown up at the doorstep while she was out, having come to visit Keitaro. This was surprising in and of itself. Indeed, Motoko was astounded Urashima even [i]had[/i] anyone so chummy with him as Misato. But when they had announced their intent to stay at Hinata House while on sabbatical, Motoko had tentatively prodded at them with her aura sense.

It had been all she could do to refrain from collapsing in total synesthetic shock. They had the same exact auric anomaly about themselves that Urashima did! Different flavors, of course (the young boy had been rain and orange, the woman an odd mix of beer and beef stew), but the same phenomenon of entwinement was there. Did it have something to do with why they knew one another?

Motoko would have to investigate into this, and if need be, dispense justice with her blade.

She sighed and sat up in the water, brushing her hair back with both hands, then got up out of it. Time to dry off, wait for dinner, and amuse herself for the evening. The mystery of Keitaro Urashima, Misato Katsuragi, and Shinji Ikari could wait.

* * *

 _ **-Hinata House [Hot Spring], Late Night-**_

Keitaro had locked the door leading to the hot spring earlier that evening, but now, it was time again to open it up; it was the only one of two places in Hinata House that the girls wouldn't hear him and the two from Hakone discussing their dark dealings, and the other one...

...well, the less said about the _other_ location, the better.

Locking the door once more behind him, he bade Shinji and Misato sit with him to talk.

"We'll be safe from prying ears here, hopefully," he said as he lowered himself into a sitting position by the baths, glancing around as if expecting Naru to pop out from underwater with scuba gear on. "Now... we need to talk about last night."

Misato nodded, her previous joviality tucked away. "I agree," she said in an undertone. "How on Earth were there so _many_ of those damn things last night?"

Shinji tapped his fingers together. "Maybe... The Apostles have something to do with it?" he offered tentatively, before shivering.

"I wouldn't think so," replied Keitaro. "You said the last appearance of an Apostle was a month ago, and these waves of Spindles have been popping up at least once a week. Besides, the Apostles are in the Hakone area, not Tokyo." He pursed his lips. "Thank goodness you guys were in town, though. Otherwise I'd have been mincemeat, even with Saku by my side."

"Thank god for Saku!" laughed Misato. "Seahawk is nowhere _near_ as fun."

"Try Shogouki," Shinji chuckled. "Total killjoy..." He sobered up soon, though. "Keitaro-san, how are you going to keep this secret? Especially from Aoyama-san... She kept looking at Misato-san and I like there was something weird about us."

Keitaro had noticed. Motoko, for all her polite and introverted behavior, was not subtle when something was bothering her. She had been casting furtive glances at the NERV employees as though attempting to learn hidden information about them just from looking, and would occasionally get a wide-eyed expression on her face, before hastening to cover it up and act as though nothing had happened.

"Pfft, she's all bark and no bite." Misato rolled her eyes. "Worse than Asuka-chan. Acts like she's all that when she hasn't got a clue. I'm more worried about Narusegawa. You saw the way she snapped at our dear Shinji here! She's like a rabid dog or something."

Keitaro nodded solemnly, remembering the events of the afternoon.

* * *

 _ **-Flashback: Hinata House [Dining Room], Afternoon-**_

"Another man in Hinata House," Naru muttered resentfully, glaring daggers at Shinji. Another meeting had been called, to get everyone up to speed with the situation. They'd all taken it fairly reasonably: Haruka nodded and offered her help in sorting out the paperwork to return Hinata House to a co-ed dorm, Su had greeted Misato and Shinji with enthusiasm before scuttling away to her dorm room, and Kitsune, Shinobu, and Motoko had all extended polite greetings while sticking around.

Naru was the only holdout. Men seemed _determined_ to thread their slimy little way into her life lately- first Urashima, the big jerk, then that perv at cram school, and now this wimpy little shortstack, who cowered away from her cold frown. She hated this type of guy- the ones that seemed so weak and vulnerable. They couldn't even be forthright with how much they wanted to _stare_ and _ogle_ and _grab_ \- no, they hid it behind a mild-mannered, nonthreatening facade, shying away and playing coy before striking when you least expected it.

Fortunately for shy, easily-cowed Shinji, Misato would not let Naru give him any flak. "Hey, lay off my ward, girlie," she said, putting a hand on the table and narrowing her eyes at Naru.

The cram school student hastened to defend herself. "I'm just saying, this is an all-girls' dorm," she replied defensively.

"Naru has a point," Motoko added. Naru was grateful- Motoko was always ready to help her out when it came to guys and how perverted they were. "This is a drastic upset of our status quo."

"Aw, lighten up, you two," snorted Kitsune. "These two are fun! Surely you can tolerate a teeny-bopper and a lady who likes the _worst_ beer known to mankind while they're on vacation."

That got Misato to laugh, surprising the two girls who were against Shinji's arrival. "Oh, don't you start again," she commented, prompting Kitsune to chuckle as well.

"Do you two know each other?" Shinobu ventured shyly.

"Nope, we just met this morning!" Kitsune chirped. "And I gotta say, these two are my kind of people! Hey, Shinobu, whatcha think of Shinji-kun here, eh?" she teased, grinning brightly. "Cutie, isn't he? Seems like he's just your type."

The mischievous woman giggled at the sight of Shinji and Shinobu simultaneously going red and averting their gazes, stuttering incoherently. This, however, only stoked the fire of Naru's distrustful anger.

"Don't you even _try_ it, Ikari," Naru threatened. "Got it? I won't let you have your way with Shinobu, so you better keep away!"

The red in Shinji's face traded itself for stark white, and he squeaked out a "yes ma'am sorry ma'am" that made Kitsune quickly reconsider teasing the sensitive young man.

Keitaro, watching all this, just sighed. He wondered briefly if he would survive the next few days without getting a stress ulcer. Or if Shinji would survive _period_.

* * *

"She scares me," Shinji admitted. "Asuka-san back at NERV is a little mean sometimes, but I can tolerate her. Narusegawa-san feels like... like..."

"Like a time bomb ready to blow?" Keitaro asked, chuckling. He put a comforting hand on Shinji's shoulder. "I understand- though Kitsune-san and her teasing didn't help. Naru attacked me last night, actually. I was so spaced out that I accidentally walked in on her in the nude, and she pummelled me to a pulp."

Misato chuckled. "Whoa-ho! Keitaro the pervert! I thought you weren't that kind of guy. Or are you finally releasing the beast?" she said, wiggling her eyebrows mischievously.

"The only beast in my vicinity is Saku," Keitaro snorted. "And _he_ behaves himself. Unlike a certain Captain I could mention."

"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up ya prude." The purple haired woman pouted, and turned a betrayed look on Shinji when he giggled.

"How are you not hurt, though?" Shinji asked. "By rights, you should still be injured."

"About that..." Keitaro adjusted his glasses and groaned. "Naru wasn't the only one that attacked me. I called for help, but when Motoko came rushing in, she saw Naru on the offensive, and assumed I was being a creep. Not an unreasonable guess, but she can do ki attacks, apparently. I ended up even more beaten than I would have if it were just Naru."

"Damn, I thought that stuff went out with the Dark Ages," Misato commented, eyes widening. "But that doesn't answer what Shinji asked."

"Two words. _Ouka Gen'ei_."

Both of the NERV duo winced.

"Your most powerful healing spell?" Shinji asked, reeling backwards. "What did they DO to you?"

"A mean right hook and ki-infused sword techniques do a number on the human body, surprisingly," Keitaro said. "Motoko was about to fry me with some kind of lightning slash, and I just went on autopilot. I cast _Ouka Gen'ei_ to drain the attack power and heal me up, then sorted the situation out with words."

"Oof." Misato fiddled with a cross-shaped charm on her necklace. "At least you got out of it unscathed. But how many witnesses were there?"

"All five tenants," Keitaro confirmed with a nod. "I'm hoping they'll write it off as a ki thing, since nobody is apparently surprised at Motoko's abilities."

"With luck," Shinji sighed. "Still, that must have been awful, Keitaro-san. I know you're a pacifist."

"Mmmm. I'm gonna have a few talks with everyone tomorrow, methinks," Keitaro said with a nod. He let his shoulders sag, then sighed deeply. "Stuff like last night, I can handle. Dealing with temperamental people who're as likely to fly off the handle as not? Send help..."

The three of them managed another laugh again, before Shinji yawned. "Not to end the conversation," he said, "but I'm really tired. I need to get to bed..."

"No trouble," Keitaro promised. "We all should. We can keep talking about this another time." He stood up, then helped Misato and Shinji up.

It was nice, Keitaro thought as they all said their goodnights and left, to have friends he could talk to, friends that understood him. Certainly, he felt a lot less alone than he had recently.

Carrying the weight of a world on your shoulders was easier when you weren't the only one doing it.

* * *

 _ **-?, Late Night-**_

"...What luck... That I was able to come back here so quickly."

"I missed you so much... the old bat should've known I couldn't be restrained by her for long."

"It wasn't like she would have understood anyway. Nobody does, except Horobi-chan."

"You were so brave out there, with the two from NERV. They weren't nearly as strong as you... or as beautiful. Oh, you were poetry in motion, a dance of destruction and rebirth under the moonlight. How I longed to see that sight just one more time, and I finally got to."

"I'll be by your side soon..."

"...big brother."

* * *

 ** _Glossary_**

NERV (German, pronounced "Nehrf"): A Japanese paramilitary organization from the renowned mecha anime "Neon Genesis Evangelion", by Hideaki Anno and Studio Gainax. In the original "Eva" canon, NERV is based in Tokyo-3, a replacement for the original Tokyo after it was destroyed in the apocalyptic Second Impact. In "Love Hina: Aozuki-hen", NERV is based in the real-life site of Tokyo-3: Hakone, a town in the Kanagawa prefecture known for its hot springs and its picturesque view of Mount Fuji.

Yebisu: A brand of beer brewed by the Sapporo Brewery. Misato's preferred drink, as well as that of her pet penguin, Pen-Pen. (How she got a penguin to drink alcohol is anyone's guess.)

Azabu-Juuban: A section of the Minato ward in Tokyo. This is roughly where Usagi Tsukino and her friends from "Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon" live.


End file.
